Notes
VIDEO
Shame: CH 9
Is there anything about your life (past acts, something done to you, anything about your parents) that you believe makes it impossible for you to never experience consists of happiness, peace, or joy?
Shame is defined as a painful emotion caused by a consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety; a condition of humiliating disgrace for disrepute. Shame often occurs when a failure in our performance or flaw in our appearance is considered so important that it creates a permanently negative opinion in our minds about our self worth. Shame can have a tremendous impact on us if we believe that we can never be different from what we have been. We may view ourselves as a composite of all our past actions and believe that we will never be able to change. Left in this state, we’re likely to feel trapped in hopelessness about ourselves and our future. But as much of what we do is based on our self concept, are every action reinforces this negative perception of ourselves.
The Shame Test
- I often think about past failures or experiences of rejection.
- There are certain things about my past that I cannot recall without experiencing strong, painful emotions (for example, guilt, shame, anger, fear, and so on).
- I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again.
- There are certain aspects of my character that I want to change, but I don’t believe I can ever successfully do so.
- I feel inferior.
- There are aspects of my appearance that I cannot accept.
- I am generally disgusted it with myself.
- I feel that certain experiences have basically ruined my life.
- I perceive myself as an immoral person.
- I feel that I have lost the opportunity to experience complete peace and joy.
Things people feel shameful about: adultery, lust, premarital sex, masturbation, homosexuality, drug abuse, an eating disorder, gambling, smoking, being a junk food junkie, blatant lying, exaggerating the truth, cheating, stealing, or other destructive personal habits. When you attempt to change but fail, it causes you to view yourself as a failure with no hope. You feel guilty and helpless.
Issues you might have with your appearance: height, weight, Acne, wrinkles, hair, chest, feet, or teeth.
EFFECTS OF SHAME
Shame often engulfs us when a flaw in our performance is so important, so overpowering, or so disappointing to us that it creates a permanently negative opinion about our self worth. Others may not know of our failure, but we do. We may only imagine their rejection, but real or imagined, the pain resulting from it cripples our confidence and hope.
- Inferiority
- Habitually destructive behavior
- Self pity
- Passivity
- Isolation and withdrawal
- Codependent relationships
- Despising our appearance
When we base our self worth on past failures, dissatisfaction with personal appearance, or bad habits, we often develop a fourth false belief: I am what I am. I cannot change. I am hopeless. This slide bonds people to the hopeless pessimism associated with poor self-esteem. Too often our self image rests solely on an evaluation of our past behavior, being measured only by our memory. Day after day, year after year, we tend to build our personalities on the rubble of yesterday’s personal disappointments. Many people recognize and realize that they have tried to change images can not believe that is possible. They say things light, I just can’t help myself. Or they might say that’s the way I’ve always been, and that’s the way all always be. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Rather than tossing it out and burning it up we recycle it over and over
Recycled vs Incinerator (Psalm 103:12)
Know your enemy. If we are unaware of how sin seeks to master us then we will be unable to crush it: flesh, world and the devil. We need to not only read the Bible but be able to apply the truth that we find in there to our lives.
Satan Recycles
Things we need to recognize that the Bible says about Satan so that we can know our enemy by being aware of how the attacks and so that we can use our sword to fight back.
- 1. Satan and demons or your foes and not in any way friends-1 Peter 5:8.
- 2. Satan and demons are actively at war against you-Ephesians 6:10-13.
- 3. Satan and demons want you to die because Satan is a murderer; he wants to bring death and everything in your life, including your love, joy, marriage, and ministry-John 8:44.
Despite the fact that Satan is doomed, he tries to trigger us and we use various tactics that scripture warned us about. We see this in 2 Corinthians 2:11 where it says that Satan cannot trick us if we become familiar with the tactics he uses against us.
- 1. Satan is a liar. If you believe him, your life will be destroyed, because you’ll be trusting the person Jesus called the father of lies. Your response to life must be reading your Bible and listening to Jesus. Remember, you never have to persuade the wire that he is wrong and you are right. Instead, be like Jesus, who in Matthew 4:8-10, ignored the liar’s lies and remains devoted to the truth of Scripture.
- 2. Satan will come to you when you are weak and tempt you to sin just as he did Jesus because he is the Tempter-Matthew 4:1-11. Your response to temptation must be to resist the devil and he will flee from you-James 4:7-8. When you do sin you must keep short accounts with God by repenting of your sin to Jesus and anyone else you have sinned against.
- 3. Satan will come to you as your accuser-revelation 12:10. Here’s where it gets tricky. Satan’s accusations often, in the form of the second person speaker. Some people who think they have psychological problems because they are voices or have negative self talks are in fact undergoing demonic opposition. In the seasons we must realize that Jesus would never say such things to us, and if you are hearing accusations in the second person, then a demon is whispering in your ear, hoping you will believe him over Jesus.
- 4. Satan will come to you, often during a season of God’s grace being poured out, to rob you of joy by condemning you. Satan is the ultimate recycler, he will remind you of past sins that Christ died for and that you have earnestly repented of. In doing so, he will attempt to get you to disbelieve in the sufficiency of Jesus work on the cross for you. If you believe Satan, you will forget about God’s forgiveness or seek to do something in addition to Jesus work to merit your own forgiveness. In the seasons, you need to look to Romans 8:1 to find an anchor for your soul by meditating on the fact that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
- 5. Satan will try to come and heap upon us a very vague, general conviction that, if not recognized, will propel us into deep introspection and cause us to frantically search for some sin. This is because Satan mimics God and perverts his work. God convicts of specific sin so that, with his compassion and help, you can repent and move on to freedom and joy. Satan, however, will seek to defeat and discourage you through guilt that is so general that you never know exactly what to repent of and are there by left in paralyzing bondage and despair.
- 6. Satan will also seek to gain ground in our lives through bitterness (Ephesians 4:17-32; Hebrews 12:15). We must realize that not everyone has never sinned against us will come for to repent and ask for forgiveness. If this is what we’re waiting for we will be prone to bitterness. Forgiveness does not mean accepting what someone has done to us, but rather and trusting them to God for his justice through Jesus suffering on the cross or their deserve torment in hell. Our part in forgiveness is giving up our just right to hurt them for the hurt they did to us. God may also ask us to confront someone in order to give them an opportunity to repent, and if they do not, you must trust Jesus to judge and sentence them justly on the final day of judgment.
Flesh Recycles
Old memories-past failures, someone laughing at you, picked on as a kid
World Recycles
Especially spouses and parents, kids at school
Corporately Unique-Gen 1:26
Individually Unique-Psalm 139:13-16
Spiritually Unique-Eph 1:3-14
Self-worth = performance + others’ opinions
SELF-WORTH=KNOWING GOD+WHAT GOD’S WORD SAYS ABOUT YOU
Chapter 10 God’s Answer: Regeneration (2 Cor 5:17)
At this point we need to recall our position in Christ-propitiation, justification, reconciliation. We must accept how completely God desires to make changes in our lives that will free us from our past.
- Because of justification, you are completely forgiven and fully pleasing to God. You no longer have to fear failure.
- Because of reconciliation you are totally accepted by God. You no longer have to fear rejection.
- Because of propitiation, you are deeply loved by God. You no longer have to fear punishment, nor do you have to punish others.
- Because of regeneration, you have been made brand new, complete in Christ. You no longer need to experience the pain of shame.
How is Regeneration Accomplished?
Any change in our behavior requires a release from our old self concept, which is often founded and failure and the expectations of others. We need to learn how to relate to ourselves in a new way. To accomplish this, we must begin to base our self worth on knowing God and knowing with God’s word says about us and trust in his Spirit to accomplish change in our lives. Then, and only then, can we overcome Satan’s deception that holds sway over our self-perception and behavior. By believing Satan’s lie “I am what I am, I cannot change, I am hopeless,” we are just recycling old garbage rather than walking in the truth.
What are the Results of Regeneration?
- Stated Facts
- New Creation-2 Corinthians 5:17
- New Heart-Ezekiel 36:26-27
- No Sin Counted Against You-Psalm 103:12
- No Condemnation-Romans 8:1
- Tangible Results- Trapeze- Eph 4:22-24 Romans 6-regeneration is not a self improvement program, nor is it a cleanup campaign for our sinful natures. Regeneration is nothing less than the impartation of new life (a fresh clean start).
- Believe that Jesus is the Christ-1 John 5:1
- Refrain from continual sin-1 John 3:9
- Will love his brother-1 John 3:23
- Fruit of the Spirit Galatians-5:22-24
Titus 3:3-7
COMMON CAUSE GROUP DISCUSSION QUESTIONS (May need to break the men and women up for this one.)
- Name some of the things you wished you could change about your past performance.
- Do these things cause you to feel shame?
- Is anyone willing to open up and share so that we can speak the truth of God into your life?
- Of the 7 Effects of Shame in the notes which one do you find yourself struggling with the most?
- If you are a Christian then you have experienced regeneration and everything in the Stated Facts Above as well as on the sheet from the bulletin are true about you. (Please review them and discuss if time allows)
- The Tangible Results Section is for those who aren’t sure if they are a Christian. You can use these to let them examine whether or not they are a new creation.